This is the writing prompt for today:
Letter writing day - Tuesday 5/10: In February the Wego Blog Carnival asked participants to write letters to their condition. You can write a letter to diabetes if you’d like, but we can also take it one step further. How about writing a letter to a fictional (or not so fictional) endocrinologist telling the doctor what you love (or not) about them. How about a letter to a pretend (or again, not so pretend) meter or pump company telling them of the device of your dreams? Maybe you’d like to write a letter to your child with diabetes. Or a letter from your adult self to the d-child you were. Whomever you choose as a recipient, today is the day to tell them what you are feeling.
In one week from today on May 17th I will celebrate having diabetes for 10 years. This anniversary has weighed heavy on me for awhile. I cannot believe that it has been that long. I think of little 14 year old me and what I would endure over the next 10 years. Without further ado:
Dear Jenny:
Hi its me. You? Me? You (we?) got some tough news today. Diabetes. No I promise you are not going to die, at least not right this second. Diabetes is not terminal even though you were very scared with the word DIE in it. The next few days are going to be hard, you will learn a lot (and likely forget most of it) but those days will not be the hardest.
Over the next 10 years many things will happen that will not be easy. But let me tell you that you will get through it. You WILL make it. There will be a time when you are laying at dads house (you go to live with Dad in a little over a year) and you contemplate ending it all. You will feel like it is too much. Please don't do it. You are beautiful, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
You will go through a period of rebellion. You will quit taking your insulin and testing your blood sugar and you will physically harm your body. I know nothing that is said will stop you from doing it. Please try to not let it last very long. Your body is beautiful and one day you will regret all of the harm you caused it. At 24, the scars are still here. And you hate them. At this point, thanks to God, the fact that you didn't take insulin for such a long time didn't harm your body. At least not that we can tell yet.
I know not everyone has diabetes, and you feel like you are the only one in the entire world, and you know what? Its NOT fair. I'm sorry it was you, and I have no idea why it was you that got it, but I promise that you will go far. It will be worth it. You will meet and help people with diabetes.
You will fall in love, and you will have your heart equally as broken.
You will question your faith and you will beg God to help you get through the next minute without a cigarette.
You will laugh often, and smile constantly. You will cry when Grandpa dies, but smile because all donations at his funeral will go to helping cure Juvenile Diabetes.
You will pierce your nose, tongue, neck, belly button ears a bunch and get three tattoos. You will eventually take every piercing out.
You will graduate from high school, and next month from nursing school.
Life is hard, and you will have periods that are much harder then other people. But you will be ok. I promise. You are beautiful and smart and everything that happens to you, and every choice that you make does have an impact on your future. Weather it is good or bad, it happens for some reason.
Love 24 year old Jenny.
and P.S. You will discover a straightener soon... and it makes a HUGE difference! Use the straightener... your hair will thank you.