bad then GREAT!

The other day I tweeted that I was uninsured. I found out that my coverage had ended when I went in to pick up my previously $45 prescription to have it ring up as $176.

FUN TIMES. Let. Me. Tell. YOU!!

Anyway, last Sunday which was the day of the race, I was outside in the sun basically all day. I had put tanning oil (with SPF!) on, and was sweaty.

Then, later that day, I broke out. All over my body. This weird raised skin colored rash all over my body. Mainly my face. It iiitttccchhheesss. I told my Mom today that I felt like I was having opiate withdrawal I was scratching so bad!!

Exhibit 1:
Here is what my face looks like on a normal basis, taken about a month ago. Notice my soft UN RASHY skin.



Exhibit B:
(don't you hate when people do that? lol)
This is me on umm Wednesday I think. Notice my NON SMOOTH SKIN. (No clue what I'm looking at, my eyes are not crossed IRL.) Its all bumpy. And zitty. TMI?? No?



Well being of the insured type, I did nothing. I do not like doing nothing when it comes to me and my health.

I just chalked it up an allergic skin reaction to the tanning oil. It will go away on its own. Except that it really hasn't.

I talked to my Dad about it, I actually said 'Dad! touch my face. Whats wrong with it?' lol. Without missing a beat he said it was probably a stress rash.

MAKES SENSE! Do people get rashes from stress? If they do then I think I have one.

Because... I TOOK THE NURSING SCHOOL ENTRANCE EXAM YESTERDAY AND PASSED!!!!!

I have been stressed to the freaking MAX about this dang test. I have wanted nothing more than to go to nursing school for years now, and when I failed the test 2 weeks ago, I was so sad and discouraged. So that just made my stress level rise even more.

So can this rash go away now? Its driving me CUH-RAZY!

Has anyone ever experienced this before? You know, because you guys are my doctors* until I get insured in August. :)

*Kidding of course, sort of...I need advice!!

hicks-crawfish-forgotten pumps OH MY!

Its Indy 500 weekend. The best weekend in Indiana. By far.

There is an obscene amount of alcohol consumed by everyone.

The shorts are short, and probably should be considered undies.

The shirts are completely non-existent on most men and some women.

Its amazing. I love this state. Then of course there is the race!

If you live in Indiana I assume they expect that everyone goes to the race so we just listen to it on the radio. I love it that way. Its tradition! We can watch the race after it is over. haha.

Last night I went to a crawfish boil. (ate NO crawfish. ew) My Mom's friend is talking about this mosquito thingy that you can hook to your pants and she gestures to her pants where it would be clipped.

Suddenly I got an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn't remember clipping anything to my pants after my shower.

Like you know, my INSULIN PUMP.

I didn't look. I took my shower about 2 hours ago at this point. I stepped back and reached down to feel my pants.

Nope. No pump. Tears welled up in my eyes. I was sure my blood sugar was through the roof.

I didn't want to go home and get my pump! I wanted to stay at the party. I remembered my sister (who I live with) was going to stop by the party! So I called her.

I asked her when she was going to be coming, she said probably soon why? I told her the story, I think she could her the fear/sadness in my voice. That amazing little sister that I have said, oh! Ok, Jenny, I'll get some makeup on and be there soon, I'll be there before you die. haha.

Seriously I love this girl. She walked up to the party with my pump clipped to her purse looking like a pseudo diabetic. It was cute!

When I re-connected I felt such a huge relief! I cannot believe how empty I felt without that thing! Well when I realized it. haha.

The blood sugar was 294. I took an injection while I waited for my pump and then bolused when it got there. And continued to have fun!

I'm going to put my bathing suit on and play volleyball with the family! Then listen to the race!!

8 years!

Today, 8 years ago I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.

When I look back on it, 8 years seems like such a little amount of time. Then I look again, at all that has happened and all that I have gone through, and it seems like FOREVER!

I dug up some terribly awful old pictures, and found a file with old medical papers. I seriously cannot believe I am about to show you guys these pictures! They are awful.

Before I do so, I need to back myself up. I was 13 & 14 when these pictures were taken. I had not yet discovered a hair straightener. Braces for me were NOT a good look. My teeth look great now, but oooboy did I look awful. Also- white/sparkley eye shadow was TOTALLY IN STYLE. I promise.

Ok. This picture was taken in August of 2000. Right before my 8th grade year. I was 13, and at this point not diagnosed with diabetes.


This picture was taken about 8 months later in April of 2001. I am not sure why I am posing like this. This was about a month before diagnosis. Notice the size difference. I had lost a significant amount of weight.

POSITIVE diabetes! This is from the month I was diagnosed. My endo gives out that CGMS to wear!

This would be the receipt from from my first appointment with my first endo. It doesn't say what my A1c or blood sugar were at the time, but it does say to take 3 units of the 75/25 @ supper and 5 units at breakfast. UGHH I hated that Insulin. It was awful.

This book caused me so much agony. It is from my first trip to the dietitian. I was on carb exchanges diet. I remember my Mom opening this book to look up how many exchanges were in each food, and I would be crying because I couldn't eat that much food! Uh. Thank goodness for carb counting!

Anyway. This year has been the best. I have felt the best, I went on my insulin pump, I've had the best A1c's and I 'met' all of you guys! Heres to 60+ even better years!! (hopefully without diabetes somewhere in there)

aldkjssdfkjl. <--head on keyboard

I took a test to get into Nursing school this morning.

And I failed.

I am in such a funk right now I can't seem to get out of it.

I am going to re-take the test on May 29th, so theres that.

I only failed the math section. I am too slow at math apparently. I was not able to finish all of the questions. What really freaking sucks is that its an online test, and you cannot go ahead or back on the questions. So you can't skip ahead and answer the easy ones and go back and work on the harder ones. That has always been my strategy. UHHH.

I am going to try to become faster in math in the next 2 weeks. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

So would alcohol.

I need a drink.

Happy Friday all. I wish I was not in this funk.

content

If you saw my tweet on Friday, my A1c came in at 7.7.


Most of you probably think that is TERRIBLE and would NEVER want an A1c that high, but I am content.

There was a time in my life, ok ok LAST YEAR when my A1c was 12.2. So basically my blood sugar was around 350mg/dL all the time. Now its about 170mg/dL. Needless to say, I am happy.

Something weird-ish happened to me at the doctor, well I guess it was after the doctor. I just walked out of the doctor and got in my car and drove off to my new nanny job.

Ok so what the hell was weird?! Just that. The fact that I just left got in my car and drove off! When I was a bad diabetic when I would go to the doctor (which was not often truth be told) it was just an awful experience. The whole appointment was bad.

Getting weighed made me sad, seeing my pulse made my heart beat faster, lying about why I didn't have my blood sugar records was hard to do, lying about why I only had a few tests in my meter made me feel so bad, making up an excuse as to why I didn't know my exact ratio for how much insulin made tears well up in my eyes, lying yet again about why there were so few prick marks on my fingertips, being told yet AGAIN the complications of not taking care of myself, getting the results of my A1c, and the looks from the office staff and the doctor all made me so overwhelmed and upset at myself and diabetes in general, that by the time I got in my car I would just sit there and cry for at least 10 minutes. I would just go home and mope around for at least the rest of the day. I didn't go to the doctor very much. It was too painful!

On Friday I just got in my car. I just drove! It didn't even hit me until I was about 15 minutes away that NOTHING bad happened in that office visit. I was just content. I told her what I wanted and it happened. I have never been this in tune with my body. I still don't have all of my ratios figured out. I'm at 1:18 for lunch and dinner and 1:15 for breakfast. (one unit of insulin for every 18 carbohydrates that I eat.) But its still too much. Bleh. Oh well it will get figured out sooner or later!

oh hai!

This pretty much been one of the CRAZIEST weeks of my life! In a great way.

My last day at my job was last Friday. Then the weekend flew by!

Monday I did something I have NEVER done, I went to Chicago. By myself!! That may not sound like a big deal, but I am no good at driving and directions, so trust me when I say IT IS!

In Chicago I met a D friend who I do not have permission to talk about on here, (and hes sleeping now!) but it was my first meet up with a D friend, and it was amazing! I can't wait for more!

I took about um ZERO pictures of my time in the city. I think someone put like time speeder uppers in my life. It was suddenly time for me to go home and I realized I had taken NO pictures!

I drank my weight in margaritas cinco de mayo! Yumm. Margaritas make my blood sugar go a little wonky. Or a lot wonky. I was high for like EVER and then bottomed out low. Blah. My d friend barely drank any margaritas and his BG was normal then he bottomed out hard core!

I didn't mean to make an Internet hiatus, but the Internet in the Palmer house Hilton was too expensive. Just like everything else in Chicago! So I didn't have Internet! Then I accidentally left my computer on for something like 25 hours. (OOPS!!) And it built up static. Hmm who knew that happened! My keyboard stopped working. It was bizarre.

I honestly have no idea where the past few days went. Whoa dude! Tomorrow I have my 3month appointment with my endo. Will have A1c results at around 9:00am! I'm a little worried, because of my bronchitis back in February-ish. I could not get my blood sugar under 300mg/dL for about 4 days. Oh well! I guess I should go log my numbers from the past 3 months. I have to be at the doc in 8 and half hours. OOPS!!!

Ok. Last thing! This is my amazing little sister. She is 10 years old, and has an amazing voice! She was asked to sing in front of her entire school for the second year in a row today for national day of prayer. She is so good. Sorry for the bad quality and shaky hand. haha. Look out tomorrow for A1c results!!

trippy

Tonight I was trying on clothes in my room. So I take off my pump. These two things go hand in hand. I HATE trying on clothes with my pump on. Clip to pants. Unclip. Dangle pump from site while switching pants. Clip to pants. Unclip. See why I hate having it on while trying on clothes?? I'm rather indecisive.

ANYWAY.

I took it off at 10:45. It kept beeping. beep BEEP beep. I kept right on ignoring.

Suddenly I thought I should put it on because I would surely be getting high soon.

Then I felt low. WHATTT?? Yea. That's why I said.

At 11:38pm my blood sugar was 55!!! I got low without my pump on? Does insulin suddenly make me high? I tweeted that I was cured. I found the cure. Just stop taking insulin. hahaha kidding of course.

Now I am more than used to random HIGH blood sugars, but this random low business? I don't get it. I was diagnosed with the lovely complication of diabetes gastroparesis. So getting a random high is no biggie! I often get high a few hours after I eat because my stomach has decided not to empty until that point. Its great. (<--sarcasm)

I just don't understand the betes sometimes.