Monday, November 23, 2009

a fine line..

There is a fine line between wanting someone to understand what it is like to live with diabetes and not ever wanting them to have to deal with the disease.

Wanting the stranger in the mall to stop looking at you like you are weird/gross for testing your blood sugar and licking the blood off your finger.. but never wanting them to have to endure the daily blood sugar finger pricks.

Wishing your best friend would understand that going to the movies at that exact moment is just not possible because you "feel yucky"...but never wanting her to have to know what it feels like to be suffering from high blood sugars from a failed pump site.

Praying that the person at school that asks you every single day "can you eat that?" while you pull out your sandwich for lunch, will just GET IT and STOP ASKING...but never would you ever want them to have to count every single carbohydrate that goes in their body.

Wanting your baby sister to understand that we can't leave for the store right now because you have to wait for your blood sugar to return to normal before getting behind the wheel of a car..especially with her in it...but praying she never has to experience eating food when she is not hungry.. jut low.

There is a fine line between what we WANT and what we actually really want...

Sometimes I don't stop and think about it often enough... I often wish people could just UNDERSTAND. But never ever would I actually want them to be in my shoes. I don't wish this disease on anyone..


cyntheeuhh said...

That's all true. Even family members and friends will never understand, but I would never want them to experience what I go through on a daily basis. & I really hate the driving thing, I always have to wait.

Colleen said...

It's funny that you say this.

About 15 years ago when I was in second grade I had a girl make fun of me for carrying my big giant "meter" case around. I was really angry about it and embarrassed and having one of those "You just don't understand" moments.

That girl ended up being in my cabin at diabetes camp several years later. It made me almost feel guilty and sad. I don't think she ever remembers making fun of me and probably still didn't remember making fun of me for that because meters had drastically shrunk in size by then. But still, I felt bad.