It crept up on me!

Did the Christmas season creep up on you this year? It crept up on me!

But what crept up on me even FASTER was my birthday. Oh yea... Tomorrow is my birthday.

The big 2-3. Schweeeet.

I actually love birthdays. Especially my birthday. I'm not sure why I'm feeling so funky about it. I mean, I know it in part has to do with my loneliness, but I've had a little help from a great friend in the DOC with my Christmas loneliness. :) more on that later.

Maybe its because I have my first round finals on Thursday. :P I'm not sure. I will probably be just fine tomorrow when its my actual birthday.

URG. I do not enjoy funk.

Because I have class from 8-3:30 tomorrow, and will be studying for finals all night tomorrow, I celebrated my birthday with my family this weekend. It was awesome. My family rocks. And even though my birthday is 10 days before Christmas,they always make a huge effort to separate them! I'll share a few pics, and I have a post set to post with more pics tomorrow.

Goodnight!

last post!!!!

Wow. I seriously almost failed NaBloPoMo on the LAST DAY!

That's talent people.

I really have no idea what to blog about. So I'm going to say the 30 things I'm thankful for. Because I've been a little down in the dumps lately..blah blah see my last post... I am actually VERY thankful for this life, and sometimes need to be reminded of it.

1.Maddy. I love this girl. I decided that I love the age 10. She is still my baby girl but she is able to just hang out with me. I had the BEST weekend with her, and my bed is really empty now that she is back at my moms.

2.My insulin pump. Nuff said. I love this thing. Even though it has the ability to drive me a little crazy.

3.The DOC. And ALL of you in it. I swear I have no idea what my life would be like without all of you guys. I feel like it would be very very empty.

4.Nursing school. I am SO thankful for this. It is something I have dreamed of for years and to be able to be in it is just so amazing.

5.Little Koomkie. Which is the name that has been given to my sister Katys little baby. She gets to hear the heartbeat for the first time tomorrow! I already love little Koomkie.

6.The family I nanny for. I love them. They are such an amazing family and I have learned so much from them.

7.My family. I am SO thankful that I have each and every member of my family. They all are truly amazing.

8.My car. Even though I do not always love my car, it gets me from point A to point B and for that I am thankful.

9.Insurance. I don't really need to say more do I? Didn't think so.

10.My computer. <3.

11.My automatic car starter. Its supposed to snow tomorrow.

12.That I am getting all A's. :)

13. My friends, I have met some AWESOME people at school and I am so happy about that!

14.I don't want this to sound mean, but that that person that threatened my life at school is no longer at school. I feel a lot less stress about this.

15.Christmas music. I love it. LOVE.

16.Christmas decorations in my house. My stepmom and I put them up last week. It was nice.

17.The Indianapolis Colts. They are 11-0. Sweet huh!

18.My cousin ciara and little baby Reaghan that is due in March.

19.My health, although its not AMAZING its better then its been.

20. That I am DONE with NaBloPoMO!!! Yea!!!!

Night all.

lonely

*WARNING-a little sad tonight, and I just vented, I'm not looking for pity or anything like that, just wanted it off my chest*


Have you ever questioned what you were doing with you life? If you were making the correct choices day in and day out? I wish there was some book that I could open up and it would tell me exactly what was going to happen and what I needed to do to get to that point.

I believe everything happens for a reason. If I didn't I would go insane. I also strongly believe that I will not be alone for the rest of my life.

I have to believe that also. Or I would not have any point in being here.

I have SERIOUSLY wanted few things in my life. I have wanted many things. But there are a few things that I want so badly. A husband is one of them. A family is another one of them. Feeling content with what I look like is another one of them.

So far I have zero out of three.

I have to believe that there is someone out there for me. I just haven't met him yet.

I just wish he would get here sooner. I am so lonely. I have not been this lonely in years. Everyone in my life has someone. Except me. It is embarrassing.

I am now entering the holidays and my 23rd birthday alone. I have not been out on a date in 7 months. I hate that but its true.

I know if I could loose some weight I would be in much better shape in the man department. I hate that that is true but I know that it is. No one wants to be with someone who is overweight.

Its not like I have all these cards playing in my favor. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even able to be loved. For so long I felt that having this chronic illness has made me unlovable. The scars on my body make me want to cover up and hide even more.

I just want someone to share this life that I DO have with. I know that I am not old but I feel like it.

I feel a little better getting this off my chest.

Saturday night Meme

1. Where is your cell phone?Crappy
2. Your significant other? Nonexistent. :(
3. Your Hair? Super long
4. Your Skin? Dry
5. Your mother? Love
6. Your favorite thing? Maddy
7. Your dream last night? Dunno
8. Your favorite drink? Diet Pepsi
9. Your dream/goal? Married/RN
10. The room you’re in? Bedroom
11. Your ex? lied.
12. Your fear? Loneliness
13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? Happy
14.Where were you last night? Home
15.What you’re not? Complete
16.Muffins? Delish
17.One of your wish list items? Boyfriend
18.Where you grew up? IN
19.The last thing you did? Yes Man
20.What are you wearing? Gym Clothes
21.Your TV? ON
22.Your pets? Black
23. Your computer? HP
24. Your life? good
25. Your mood? Tired
26. Missing someone? Yea.
27. Your car? Grandma
28. Something you’re not wearing? shoes
29. Favorite Store? Target
30. Your summer? Fun
31. Like someone? Sure
32. Your favorite color? pink
33. When is the last time you laughed? now
34. Last time you cried? today
35. Who will respond to this? Bloggers?
36. Whose answers are you anxious to see? yo's

all blogged out

I cannot think of anything to blog about. I could show you this cute picture of my sister Maddy and I from Thanksgiving eve. She is so darn cute!! Oh and Maddy is pretty cute too. KIDDING. I was talking about Madds.

I feel like my brain is mush. What more can I blog about? Did you brave black friday? I didn't. My mom did and she butt dialed me at 4:40am. That was no fun. At least I fell back asleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night and my bg was 102. I have no clue why I even woke up. But I didn't do anything like eat or take insulin and I woke up to a 197 blood sugar. WTH!! Why? My cgm cannot come soon enough! I'd love to see whats going on with me overnight.

Anyone see the Blind side? I'm going to see it tomorrow. OK goodnight. Enough rambling!!!!

happy thanksgiving!

I had a great thanksgiving. How was yours? How was your blood sugar? Mine was weird. lol

This morning while I was baking the an amazing dessert I could not stay above 60 for anything!! It was not so bad because I had an excuse to eat the batter :P

Then at dinner my pump got kinked or something and didn't deliver all my insulin or something, which is when I decided that it should be illegal for pumps to fail during thanksgiving dinner... don't you agree? SO a gorgeous 383mg/dL was what i had to deal with after dinner.

Then all the kids got really tired (me from my high not the turkey) and fell asleep in front of the fire.. it was so nice!!


Maddy and I made these cake balls!! They were such a hit! They are just what they sound like...cake in ball form. And severely amazing.

What do you think?

My blog needs a birthday.

Sounds like a weird question.. but its really not. Let me explain!

I started this blog in January of 2008. I had ONE reader. It was my cousin Ciara. I barely blogged, there would be random entries of random things here and there but no real consistency.

Last year in November of 2008 I decided to do NaBloPoMo. I thought it would be the kick I needed to start blogging again. It was.

During that month of posting every day, I found the Diabetes Online Community. I have no idea how I came upon it. I seriously feel like fell into the DOC. I read blog after blog of people just like me and I fell in love. :) I decided I would be a diabetes blogger. SO I started diabetes blogging. At this point my blog had been active for a few months, but THIS is when I became a diabetes blogger. Not just some random person who posted random stuff every once and awhile.

Still nobody read my blog but that is neither here nor there, I kept blogging! So here we are. A year later, and people actually read my blog! (i love you all, please stay!)

But when is my blogs birthday? How long have I been blogging? A year? Almost 2 years? HELP!! I don't know!!!

Thank you so much in advance!!! hehe